Ffffffff.

I recently signed up for a week-long art camp that I've been going to for 4 years. Normally I'd be eager to go, but there's this.

I AM THE OLDEST ONE THERE.

The rest of the kids are about 6 and all the chairs are short and I keep tripping over fucking children.
The only people to talk to are the teenaged helpers, and I can't talk to them for long because they have to help first-graders remove a staple from their eyeball or something.
Most of the time there's just a group and me, trying my hardest to fit my wonky-ass knees under the table.
"So this morning I-" I begin.
"TODAY I HAD SUN CHIPS AND THEY WAS GOOD" shouts a small child with a glitter-caked paper plate on her head.
"Yeah. Um. Yeah."
"HAVE YOU EVER TRIED SUN CHIPS LOL THEY IS GOOD"
"Yes. I like Sun Chips."
":DDDDDD"

Every fucking time I try to talk, some dickrabbit interrupts me with either
1. A lame joke
2. A noise that their friends think is hilarious
3. Asking me to draw their assignment for them
4. Touching me

You guys know that I do not enjoy being touched. I don't like it. I really, really don't like it. And when a child fucking taps me with that glue-covered, smelly, glittery hand, I go absolutely apeshit. I try not to strangle them, so I just clench my fists until my knuckles are white and rock back and forth and tune out and hum really loudly.

Have you ever felt the worst feeling in the world?
No. You haven't.

I was pretty depressed one night and I had horrible insomnia. So I thought if I just ate some food, maybe I would have to take a nap.
In this house, there is little you can prepare quietly at five in the morning. So I got a Jamz from my freezer (awful knockoff of Uncrustables) and stuck it in the microwave. After doing that I ate it and it tasted like Castor oil. After dry-heaving I attempted to go to sleep but I couldn't. So since the only things to watch at six in the morning are porn, work-out routines, and Animal Planet, I watched Animal Planet.
So there I sat. Depressed, my mouth tasting like Castor oil, a rash right beside my crotch that burned like bloody hell, awake at ungodly hours, and watching orangutans cross rivers or some shit. Hallucinations were swirling around my head and scratching me and killing me from the inside. Comedy Central doesn't come on until 9:00 AM, what the fuck? I have to wait four hours for something enjoyable to come on. Holy cockturtles. It's horrible.

Bye.
Leave now.